20130124 ~ {W-A-L-K}

As I walk around the house today, it is, it seems, like I am walking through a museum or staring at a still life image. There is no movement, no energy, no life. I am waiting for Toby to come upstairs and start yelling at me or suggesting in his own way, to start cooking but there are no sounds of his paws on the hardwood floors and the silence is deafening. Toby had his own schedule and ‘pity the fool’ who messed with it. He would come into our room early in the morning, lay his head on the bed and just stare at me and breathe deep sighs until I would get up. Then the dancing would start with his own way of telling me, “It is about time, dad and I have been up for hours. Let the cooking begin!” After breakfast, it was W-A-L-K time. We wouldn’t dare say the word ‘walk’ or we would have a stampede on our hands. Sometimes after breakfast, I would make the critical error of going into my office to check email before commencing Toby's double starred agenda item. He would then, taking cues from Bette Davis, lie on the couch outside my office and tell me all about the injustices of his world including the tragedy of a walk delayed. In the video below, my boy was asking me why I could even think of working when he had so much love to give me especially 'I am on my walk with my mom' love. And at one point, he tells me, “I have my coat on and nowhere to go!”  Oh, Toby. What I would give to hear him sing his version of "Nobody knows the trouble I've seen..." again because nobody sang it better with such drama and soul.  I laugh and smile everytime I watch this. Now here's Toby...

 

“The dog’s agenda is simple, fathomable, overt: I want. “I want to go out, come in, eat something, lie here, play with that, kiss you. There are no ulterior motives with a dog, no mind games, no second-guessing, no complicated negotiations or bargains, and no guilt trips or grudges if a request is denied.”
― Caroline Knapp

 

20130121 ~ {Goodbye Toby}

"Remember me and smile, for it is better to forget than to remember me and cry."

Dr. Seuss

This is for everyone who knows and loves our dog, Toby. It is heartbreaking to tell you this but yesterday we had to say goodbye to our boy. After a long battle with congestive heart failure, Toby’s body gave up. We had done everything medically possible to hold of the disease but his body was tired.  We miss an incredible dog. Toby brought so much happiness to our lives and our home.  We are changed because we knew, loved and took care of him for almost 12 years.  I told Toby everyday of his life what a good boy he was as I held his head in my hands and he licked my face. Yesterday, we laid on the floor with him, I held his head for the last time as we said our goodbyes. I told him in his last breaths to go find Clara and go find puddles.  I know he is in doggie heaven with Dick’s burgers, pizza crusts and red bell peppers. His body is healthy and he is talking up a storm and probably taking up someone’s space on the couch or bed.  Please, if you have a dog or a cat, child or loved one,  hug them tonight. The next time it rains, find a puddle and think of Toby. ~ Marcellina

201301 ~ {Happy New Year}

Some people make the world more special just by being in it. –Kelly Ann Rothaus.

                                                 Thank you for being part of my world. 

 

 

 

May people come into your life who bring you love, laughter, smiles and beautiful music.

Paz Marcellina 

I love you too, dear...

Sunset and evening star, And one clear call for me! And may there be no moaning of the bar, When I put out to sea. - Alfred Lord Tennyson

We laid to rest a wonderful man this weekend. James Gordon Tylee joined his beautiful wife in heaven on April 30th. I had the honor to spend the last four months of his life with Jim in San Diego taking care of him. My life will be changed forever because of his gift, his light, his humor and his honesty. Everyday he showed that life is a precious gift and his love for his wife and family was undeniable. Jim used to say, "Marcy, I had a good life and if I should go today, at least I will be with my wife and I will be ready and happy". I know he is my father-in-law but to me over the last months he became Dad. I would give anything to watch one more espisode of Big Bang Theory or sing Soft Kitty to him to help him breathe. Everyday, I would tell him, "I love you handsome", and he replied, "I love you too, Dear." Thank you Dad for the last four months and thank you Lou Tylee for sharing this time together. I would not trade it for anything in the world. Rest in Peace Dad and I know you, Mom, Clara, Holly and Maggie are taking good care of you. It's your kind of Heaven, your ladies are around you and the baseball team is winning! Enjoy your hot dog and don't forget to save some for lunch tomorrow.

{Lasts}

This had been the year of the "lasts". The last Open House, Christmas concert, swim meet, and Coffee House. No more weekly correspondences: the Wednesday envelope that modernized to Friday’s email blast. However, nothing has hit me harder than last Wednesday when I drove to Dillon’s school for the last time for an awards assembly. How many times have I driven along the lake to take the kids to school, practice and friends’ houses? And how many conversations were started with either, “Do you have everything?” or “Tell me about your day”. Granted for the last two years, Dillon has either driven off or biked off on his own but I will miss the routine of school, homework, lunches and set holidays. Never again will I be glued to the TV hoping for a snow day or cringing at the back to school ads that come way too fast in July mailers. I know I am looking at my glass half empty right now but we will experience an empty nest August 15th and I will be driving into uncharted territories for the first time.

My bags are packed, I am ready to go...

It is almost 5. My boys and Clara are still sleeping but I have been awake since 3:30 going over the contents of my bags in my head. Chargers, batteries, cards. Do I have enough cards? Then my suitcase, did I pack too much, do I have this shirt? I know once I get on the plane and listen to the flight attendant demo as I have so many times in the past (and done so many times), I will relax and just be. Right here. right now. I have everthing I need in the those two bags.

But this trip isn't about me at all, it is about the people of Chiapas, Mexico. I believe that the people of Mexico have so much to teach us if we just listen with our hearts and our minds. I am looking forward to just being with the Tzeltal people, witnessing their strength, sharing their days and capturing their stories and ways of life.

Bigger than the sky~M

A new start

How to blog? What to blog? Blogging? What is my theme, topic, mood or brand of my blog? Anyone who has put a thought to the key board and sent out words of wisdom to the masses has asked themselves these questions. There are more questions I ask myself, mind you, but I usually do so when I am either running or in yoga class. So here begins the new version of my old blog. The name is the same “Bigger than the Sky”, but this time it will be more journal, less announcing. I want to share things I see, eat or hear about. I want to show my own passions. The “what, why and who” are the reasons I do what I do. As well as show and tell about the lucky people who have found their bliss and are making a difference. “Bigger than the sky” will be mostly in pictures to hopefully inspire you to pick up a camera and capture the moments, special places and extraordinary people who are already in and pass through your life. I hope you check back often. Bigger than the sky, Marcellina